On conflict

Everyone has the right to be a bigot, lastly it depends only on yourself how big the discrepancy between your idealism and your behaviour becomes.

That being said, that makes me sad. I feel like the world is becoming less real as people are confronted with a number of fictional scenarios every day. Confronted meaning that they don’t actively partake but rather observe. We see fights in sitcoms, play through fictional problems in school essays (school uniforms, anyone?) – where our actions and views don’t really bother anyone. 

Therefore, many of us forget how to conflict. 

Firstly, there is a lack of real opinion. The information we receive is mostly biased and already pre-digested – therefore I see a tendency to just follow what sounds logical after one listen without getting to involved. Of course, in an age of information you cannot reflect on everything. But if we just used our brains a bit more that could make all the change – we can do better than just blaming our lack of investment on being too busy – especially when we spend 3 hours per day looking at funny cat pictures.

On top of that, real conflict scares us. Everybody talks about discussion skills and being tolerant and being open to others, but that only applies as long as personal views are not attacked. As soon as there is a real conflict, there is a tendency to not talk about it to the “right” person. Instead, gossip emerges, we use sitcom-formulas to not resolve our conflicts. 

Lastly, fail of compromise. Of course, if we never use a chance to discuss, we get no practice in finding compromise. School systems tend to teach us one truth (when it comes to real topics), strong speakers quickly oppress strong speakers’ views (so they won’t be voiced, but they still exist) and lastly, we return to the first point, we don’t really care about finding common ground. With the internet and connectivity, we never fail to find anyone who shares our point of view and expressed it better than we maybe could. So maybe there is simply no need in attacking anything as soon as you feel good enough about yourself?

But can’t we do better than that? Aren’t there things we want to resolve, things in society or tradition that annoy us enough to try and talk about them? Try and change them, even? Or is it just me?

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